When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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