actually, I'm a sock model
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
