no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
the raccoons are back...
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