you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
