So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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