Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Let's paint friendship bongs
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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