Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
