It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
