my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
i dont even know how to be here
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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