My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
