Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
