You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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