So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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