Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
