I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
there was a trapeze. enough said
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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