I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
soo... how was my night?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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