We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Randomize
