This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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