...so i touched it.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
