you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
