I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
No I am not eating basil off your cock
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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