laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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