i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
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