He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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