I CAN MOONWALK!
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Randomize
