Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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