New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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