I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
she woke up with a sticky ear
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
