I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize