two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
