First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
