i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
