eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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