i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
