I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
