we're chasing vodka with high fives
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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