Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
