i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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