you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
