my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
