I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Randomize
