erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
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