Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
