there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
