apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
