one two three fourrrrnication!
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
