I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
