i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
