break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
