Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
