we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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