First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
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