this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
