she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
