So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
The Olympian is in my bed
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
