i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
how can u be prego again
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
