I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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