I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Randomize
