We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
