that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I have feelings that need drinking.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Randomize
