I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
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